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LET'S FACKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have not slept and still need to pack for a flight in like 2 hours but also i don't know what to do with all of this adrenaline right now. MY GODDDD.

jk brief 20 minute intermission i am packed and also abruptly feeling the fatigue now lol but i will rest up on the plane it's all good :saluting_face: i feel so insane even though i've already posted about this on tumblr and spammed risa on messenger for way too long but (crying and frowing up) i am so used to giving and Suffering and disillusioning myself that i've forgotten what it feels like to taste success... what it feels like to FINALLY RECEIVE!!!


if you know me you know i have always been an extremely reliable McLaren Realist, meaning i believe in them to the extent of any mediocre midfield team even when they tease flashes of potential or have abnormally strong showings in quali and am always expecting the worst no matter what. life to me is about constantly calibrating expectations after quali because as much as i like mclaren's team structure, genuinely think zak brown is a relatively competent ceo and "decent" guy, have massive faith in both of landoscar's race craft and pace, etc. i'm always like > here is how everything can immediately fall apart and turn into a strategic disaster LMFAO. and you can tell that mclaren were always looking to err on the side of conservation from just their pre-race expectations and interviews, i.e. "a podium would be nice but really we just want top 5" from zak, oscar, lando, basically the whole team. but then @*#)$@*#$ LANDO HAD HIS PERFECT START... and managed to fend off max for a decent 5 laps, AND oscar held pace perfectly for half the race, and i think i started getting a little greedier and was like on god the double podium is actually possible...... which is such an insane feeling to have because up until this race oscar had 5 whole points. So.

but really oscar going "it's a nice feeling to be disappointed with p4... we're back baybee!" in his radio is making me cry a little bit considering that prior to the upgrades i had absolutely ZERO expectations that he'd ever make top 5 in a single race this year....... that was seriously a podium-worthy drive with a spade of particularly bad luck/timing, and as nervous as i was for the last 20 laps the strategic call on the hards ended up working out fine so it all shook out way better than it could have (see: ferrari). plus alpine disasterclass brings me SO much joy lmfao i keep suffering from how french the f2 grid skews this is the least f1 can offer me... i seriously just hate every french driver so it's not even a schadenfreude thing for oscar's sake but admittedly it's narratively satisfying to see people finally admit that he made the right "decision" in moving to mclaren, even though again that's a reductive summary of how the contract situation unfolded lmfao but whatever it's vindication all the same.

risa was like maybe it's good he didn't podium so there's no feeling of complacency which is kind of true, also strictly mathematically and narratively speaking the 29+30 point jump is satisfying to denote i suppose LMFAO no i'm jk but well... hungary will definitely be a proper upgrade test and a show of whether/how much the new nose lando was running changes things, i'm kind of skeptical it'll do much in terms of their teammate gap but i'm still excited for oscar to be working with the Full Package. of course i also have to return to my realist mode so i'm back to expecting the absolutely worst in a vague emotionally detached sense sans active doomerism, but i'm still so :') waaaaaahhhhh. ollie having a bit of a (NMIXX VOICE) roller coaster dot mp3 disasterclass home race weekend krills me especially because the penalty puts him on par with mfing VMA but i guess it all evened out with my oscar stonks.

i'm so........ ok i know p4 is literally Not That Serious, but also to see him just do well as a rookie is making me emotional and unfortunately i'm oscaryfan and mcl enjoyer T__T from obsessively refreshing reddit during the crb proceedings and being extremely annoyingly like "I'm not here to ~defend~ oscar because i don't actually care what people think of some random dude, but also let's learn something called FACTS!!!" on my dreamwidth for months 😭 we worked hard... 넘 힘들었어

1. aug 2022


eventually i realized that oscar would be Fine but i still felt insane when britney was like he has to beat lando or some other dude (palou generational ass?) will replace him. like girl not everyone retires the moment they throw their entire life away to beat one single guy in equal machinery

2. oct 2022


must a car be good can't it just deliver a single podium finish at its home race and make me exceedingly happy for one weekend......... who knows!

3. mar 2023


literally The Life And Struggle.

wow icb it's almost been a year since the start of the crb debacle T__T i feel extremely normal but also insane. ok <3 let me shut up now i've properly gotten all my thoughts out of my system LMFAO

assortment of other gp thoughts
- well i already said this but alpine failures soothe the soul <3
- presented without further commentary except actually the further commentary is that I'M SICK OF THIS BITCH
- anyway on the other hand what was he cooking... alex has been delightful this weekend but seriously i cannot get over how casually he imparted that he bleeds through his racesuit every race and everyone being like ? :D???? absurd jenx moment out on the paddock... very happy for him in general though.
- speaking of brit masterclass at silverstone i suppose that lewis home race podium is quite nice :__) very lucky safety car and i'm glad lando was able to fend him off on the hards but i'm not particularly upset about this top 3/oscar just missing the cut. also this whole shakira thing is KILLING MEEE lmfao good 4 him tho

still can't believe mclaren doubled their points and leapfrogged alpine with this one race........ ok i need to shut up and stop spamming people on like 4 different platforms so i will refrain from posting any further f1 content for a considerable amount of time, SOZ for being the person i am lmfao. i can practice normalcy and restraint 🥲 dw user goaltender out